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There’s a phrase I keep hearing these days: TAKE THE WIN.
It can be applied to anyone – Donald Trump, Chuck Schumer, AOC – who notches a victory and then insists on demanding more, however unrealistic that might be.
What brings this to mind is an extraordinary essay by Andrew Sullivan in the New York Times.
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It was Sullivan – a gay, British conservative Catholic running the New Republic – who first made the case for gay marriage back in 1989.
“As it has become more acceptable for gay people to acknowledge their loves publicly, more and more have committed themselves to one another for life in full view of their families and their friends. A law institutionalizing gay marriage would merely reinforce a healthy social trend.”
The cover story was wildly unpopular and viewed as extremist. Despite his optimism, many gays remained closeted, including in the media, for fear of repercussions.
Gays in the military, before Bill Clinton, were subject to discharge or court-martial. So Sullivan’s dream was seen as a faraway fantasy.
Andrew Sullivan, an openly gay conservative and longtime voice in the movement, penned an excellent piece on its current state in the New York Times. (Joshua Stanyer/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)
Christian conservative Gary Bauer, on “Crossfire,” said “this is the loopiest idea ever to come down the pike. Why are we even discussing it?”
In the spring of 1996, Andrew came to me and asked me to break the story that he had AIDS, and, in part, that’s why he was resigning as the New Republic’s editor. He said he’d known he had the disease for three years but was in good health.
“It’s an awful burden being lifted,” he told me. “It’s hard enough to battle the disease, but when there’s a secret about it, you can’t help but tap into feelings of shame and guilt that just destroy you.”
Sullivan is a pioneer of the gay rights movement – and he first made the case for same-sex marriage in 1989. (T.J. Kirkpatrick/Getty Images)
It was not until 2015, after 37 states had already acted (with some overturned), that the Supreme Court made same-sex marriage the law of the land. And when straight couples realized their own marriages were unaffected, it gradually faded as a hot political issue.
Polls now show that seven in 10 Americans support gay marriage. Gays now serve openly in the Cabinet and in state houses.
“As civil rights victories go,” Sullivan, still in generally good health, writes in the Times, “it doesn’t get more decisive or comprehensive than this.”
The issue is getting plenty of media play because it’s the 10th anniversary of the SCOTUS ruling.
But now comes the overreach.
Rather than declare victory and close up shop, the movement lurched in a dangerous new direction.
Sullivan says he always supported civil rights for transgender people. And I feel the same way.
But gay rights groups, with money pouring in, tried to replace the distinction between men and women with “gender identity” – and that meant an embrace of gender-altering surgery for minors. That is an issue opposed by roughly 80 percent of the country.
Along with an obsession with pronouns, the movement also backed letting trans women compete in women’s sports, another issue that most people find unfair, viewing them as men.
The new mantra, according to Sullivan: “TRANS WOMEN ARE WOMEN. TRANS MEN ARE MEN.” President Trump has ordered trans military members booted from the service.
Another albatross for the modern LGBTQ movement, according to those in the Sullivan school of thought: its unwavering dedication to trans-related issues. (Stephanie Keith 100584/Getty Images)
Sullivan, no fan of the president, says some activists reflexively oppose whatever Trump supports.
“Dissenters from gender ideology are routinely unfriended, shunned and shamed. Almost all of the gay men, trans people and lesbians who have confided in me [say] that they don’t agree with this…
“Leave children out of it. We knew very well that any overreach there could provoke the most ancient libel against us: that we groom and abuse kids.”
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This is one man’s opinion; Sullivan allows he may be “just another old fart.”
As if to underscore his point about intolerance, a poster on Reddit called the piece an “incoherent mishmash” and says Sullivan is “blaming trans and LGBTQ+ activists for conservative attacks on the trans community.” This from “an aging gay man whose brain is soaked in prejudice and fear.”
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Plenty of people may disagree with Andrew Sullivan’s analysis; Republican support for same-sex unions falls below 50 percent. But as the first man to crusade for gay marriage 36 years ago, and openly discuss his battle with HIV, I’d say he’s earned the right to be heard.